arranged marriage
By M Abdo - Posted on July 30th, 2008
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Hi everybody,
some say "love comes after marriage"...that is, even if two ppl who are not in love with each other get married, the will get to love each other later because they lived together?
some guyes get married to a woman who they met for the first time, and it works! sometimes it doesn't.
what do you think about arranged marriage? By the way, it is not only common in Islamic communities. It is even common in Japan and it is called "o-miai".
are you for or against and why?
thanks
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Yes, Abdo not only Muslim country have arranged marriages. Actually until about 50-60 years ago many Western countries also had this.
as long as the marriage is not FORCED on the couple, it might turn out to be fine.. who knows?. But if the parents and other relatives force someone to marry a person he/she does NOT like or Love, shouldd be considered criminal in my opinion.
thanks Ronnie for this comment. actually, i can imagine that 50 or 60 years ago, there were more family ties and that is why arranged marriage was common..nowadas everybody is living on thier own isolated from others...forcing someone to marry someones else against their will is areal crime cos it will ruin thier lives...
Dear Ronnie,
I guess that's it! Nobody can oblige anyone do or behave this or that way... We're in the 21st century and despite all of the technology and all of the information available, unfortunately, there's a lot of people all around the world with their lives controlled by archaic cultures that makes no sense nowadays. In my opinion, every one of us are free to choose and decide by the things in our lives. Ask for those who made the rules whether they like tobe controlled?
whether love marriage or arrange marriage , one should accept each other whole heartedly with heart and soul. only than the marriage is success. no matter , u select a girl for your self or your parents do. ones u accept, all goes fine in life.
In majority of arranged marriages, the girl is asked for her permission to go ahead with the alliance. Sadly in some cases it forced.
In asia, most of marriages are arranged marriages, and they live happily. Arranged marriages is more of a union between two like minded
families than the girl and the boy.......so everything is like one big
family thingy. but of course its important for the man to be financially
secure if the lady doesn't intend to work or if she or her family
prefers it that way.... One needs money to live, love is just one
positive factor to make life a bit easy. alhamdullilah.
Besides that, you cannot force anything, you have to allow yourself to
adjust or compromise, and when you decide you want to adapt,
you will see a lot of issues are really easy to handle. it's only when we rebel that everything feels forced and not acceptable.sometimes things arent as complicated as we think it is..
umm, money. Maybe that is the only headache for those who go for arranged marriages. Because you know, arranged marriage is a traditional kind of marriage where men and women used to have their essental roles throughout history: the man goes hunting and the women feeds the children...
back to the money factor: some parents would marry off thier daughters to a well-to-do man
i agree with you that arranged marriage should never be forced on anyone
well to me...it is all about chances and luck
some ppl i know went for arranged marriages and others went for the love first
but love didn't see to work alone....it is like missing something and it can't stand alone and build a life
both can fall down depending on the circumstances wether arranged or not...it is about the ppl and the frame they live in
Well i believe whether its your parents who have selected a potential spouse for you or you are attracted to someone, its best the guy and gurl talk to each other, get to know each other, discuss what's important to them and see if they find a future with each other. (i dont believe in Bf/gf relations however getting to know someone for marriage is fine) .